i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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