thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
