He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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