As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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