Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
