Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
