whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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