Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
