i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
