Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
