Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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