He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
