Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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