How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
