i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
