Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
