So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
