ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize