So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
