the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
