Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
