Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize