One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
