I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
