I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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