Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize