your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
