PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
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Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.