Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again