Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.

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  (406): we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting. http://tfl.nu/a3qg
  Replies (16) Good night (2727) Bad night (1987) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Why does tequilla always make you text me?

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  (301): You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate. (240): Why does tequilla always make you text me? http://tfl.nu/qeax
  Replies (13) Good night (3975) Bad night (667)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings

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  (605): For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings http://tfl.nu/sahq
  Replies (30) Good night (2790) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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  (631): I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks http://tfl.nu/hotd
  Replies (244) Good night (961) Bad night (3768) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.

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  (801): Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes. http://tfl.nu/ehqx
  Replies (17) Good night (904) Bad night (3223) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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  (201): Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one. http://tfl.nu/7onj
  Replies (36) Good night (7771) Bad night (651)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick

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  (304): when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick http://tfl.nu/j5fw
  Replies (22) Good night (5472) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.

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  (971): I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa. http://tfl.nu/0b4p
  Replies (28) Good night (5624) Bad night (1554) Order T-Shirt
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  (+43): View more from

  After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.

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  (+43): After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order. http://tfl.nu/2l9g
  Replies (14) Good night (3774) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.

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  (314): On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner. http://tfl.nu/glyx
  Replies (4) Good night (2005) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  People are yelling about how much they want you here.

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.

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  (651): People are yelling about how much they want you here. (563): I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled. http://tfl.nu/lpre
  Replies (4) Good night (2341) Bad night (569)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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  (505): It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm. http://tfl.nu/vdhu
  Replies (15) Good night (4644) Bad night (522)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home

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  (250): not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home http://tfl.nu/i7w6
  Replies (4) Good night (998) Bad night (246)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  do you know where my other puke covered boot is

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  (361): do you know where my other puke covered boot is http://tfl.nu/w5qn
  Replies (1) Good night (239) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge

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  (714): She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge http://tfl.nu/on98
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (143) Order T-Shirt

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