I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
