Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
