I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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