$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
