We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
