did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
