She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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