Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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