Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
