Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
