I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
