i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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