Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize