from now on my penis is your penis
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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