god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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