oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
