What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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