We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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