Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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