none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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