If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
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I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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