with your own penis?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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