so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she smelled like a LAN party
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
