if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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