Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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