girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
