You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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