so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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