On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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