This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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