come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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