If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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