Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
