oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
