It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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