He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
