I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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