I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
