I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
