I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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