ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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